South Windsor Art Gallery Theft

Here is an exclusive story that only the Blogmeister has been able to uncover. The recent border backups were not due to increases in traffic or breakdowns in US Customs computer systems.

In a daring robbery, thieves broke into the South Windsor Art Gallery, the gallery at the underpass at EC Row and Dougall Avenue, and stole the only piece in its collection: the giant mural or work of art. This was the "painting" that the Mayor called "a vast improvement over what had been "an ugly" bit of infrastructure." You remember, the artwork disguised as a billboard pointing people to the Windsor Tunnel owned by the City.

A spokesperson for the Windsor Police Dept. confirmed the robbery. The Police believe that the robbery was planned by a Mastermind criminal who knew when the Mayor would be leaving town. "It is not a mere co-incidence that this happened while the Mayor was away!"

Mayor Francis was severely criticized by the other bitter and obsessive old man identified by the Windsor Star's famous columnist, "If he had stayed in town and not gone to France for an overseas vacation, then this would never have happened. Why didn't he set an example and vacation right here in Essex County to promote the local tourist industry that is suffering so much! If Eddie was at his desk micromanaging everything as he usually does and working 18 hours a day, no thief would have dared take the chance to steal the piece of art."

Border officials were warned of the theft and decided to search closely every vehicle that was leaving Canada. It was believed that some multi-millionaire in the US may have decided to have the work stolen for the person's private collection. As a result, there was traffic chaos at the border.

Given the importance of the work of art, its patron who sponsored its creation, the Windsor Tunnel Commission, has offered 2 paper tokens to use the Tunnel to cross the border as a reward for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the thieves and the return of the work of art. NOTE, the paper tickets expire on September 30. No substitutions allowed.

The gallery curator has refused to confirm the rumour that another similar work of art is being created to replace the one stolen and to be hung shortly.

We know that, before the theft, families in the Superior Park area had planned a major neighbourhood picnic on the median on Dougall near the art gallery. That is the spot where Eddie had a few trees planted to get a checkmark on his Report Card. They were going to have an outing to view the piece of art and to prepare themselves for the possible sale of Superior Park. The median, it had been rumoured, was to be re-named Superior Gardens to try to placate the angry neighbourhood.

Stay tuned for further information.